It’s 3 a.m. and I am WIDE awake.

This doesn’t happen to me very often.

Most nights, I fall asleep very quickly (my husband loves to brag about this fact) and I usually stay asleep until morning.

So WTF . . . 3 a.m. . . . wide awake.

And then the thoughts begin swirling . . .

I hope my mom stays healthy.
How long is this quarantine going to last?
Should Sam go off his ADD meds?
I wonder if we planted the garden too early?
I need to get back to sleep now!
I think I drank too much wine tonight.
Dumb ass.
Ok, take some deep breaths.
Don’t look at the clock.
I really need some lip balm.
Don’t think about your dry lips!
So many people are out of jobs right now.
What will happen if Andrew gets laid off?
Take some more deep breaths.
Am I doing enough for Sam?
Am I doing enough for Jacob?
Am I doing enough for our world?
I feel helpless.
Stop complaining . . . just be grateful.
I need to get back to sleep!

You get the idea.

These thoughts (that were mostly negative) kept me up for about an hour until I was able to acknowledge them, notice how they were making me feel (totally stressed out) and accept them for now (I did get up for lip balm).

This allowed me to take some deep breaths, relax my clenched jaw and slowly fall back asleep.

In the morning I realized I had some work to do! These thoughts that were keeping me up at night needed to be meet with understanding and compassion so they would eventually let go of me (Thank you Byron Katie) and allow me to get those 8 solid hours of sleep that I crave!!

The technique I use to help me with these negative thought patterns I learned and practiced (A LOT) though my Martha Beck Life Coach Training and with my clients. It comes from “The Work” by Byron Katie. It’s simple, powerful and badass.

Yep – just what the world needs right now – and I’m here to help!

So here’s the deal . . .

Thoughts come in and out of our brain constantly throughout our daily lives. We have 60,000 thoughts a day, and 80% of them are negative (holy shit)!

Our brain is hard wired to notice and hold onto negative crap 5 times more effectively than positive stuff. (Yeah, that kind of sucks!)

But I DO have some good news for you . . . YOU HAVE THE POWER to change your negative thought patterns. You will still have a massive amount of negative thoughts filtering through your beautiful mind every day . . . BUT I can help you shift your negative thoughts and how you choose to react to your circumstances . . . so you can kick ass in your life!!

YOUR THOUGHTS ARE PAINFUL . . . NOT YOUR LIFE!! Most of us think we need to change something in our life to “feel” better (do more to help the world, lose 10 pounds, find a better career) but it is simply not true.

You must change your thoughts to live a better life BEFORE you do anything else (like quit your job or stop eating bread).

If you change your actions without changing their cause (your negative thoughts), you are setting yourself up for a shit storm that will continue to swirl around you!

Change your thought patterns first my beautiful people!! . . . and let me help you!

It is not the circumstances of life that bring us down and make us feel like shit (for example, I can’t control when the quarantine will end, or if my mom stays healthy or the stupid shit people post on social media).

BUT I CAN change the way I think about that situation or that person or that post . . . which will most definitely decrease my frustration and stress and worry, Fuck YES!

It almost sounds too good to be true . . . but it’s not . . . I promise!

I’ve studied Byron Katie’s method “The Work” and used this powerful tool with every single one of my clients over the past 10 years (and on myself almost daily). It has changed my life, propelled my clients toward kick ass lives and quite honestly . . . could change our world!

Let me be clear . . . life sucks sometimes and those negative thought patterns will always be there because we are humans! The goal of “The Work” by Byron Katie isn’t to “get rid” of your painful thoughts and limiting beliefs all at once. The goal is to meet your thoughts with understanding and compassion . . . and eventually, your negative and painful thoughts will let go of you.

I’ve added this awesome info to my website – YAY – so check it out!

I would love to guide you to look at your painful thoughts from a different perspective and help you retrain your brain by creating new neural connections & pathways.

Yep . . . that can totally happen and we could all use a few new neural pathways right about now!!

So let’s chat on the phone or through FaceTime or Zoom . . . we’ve got options and this quarantine doesn’t even get in our way!! Hell Yes!!

In the meantime . . . notice the next negative thought that comes into your brain.

Just NOTICE it . . . no judging or “mean girl” talk. You don’t need to feel shitty about it, just notice it and meet it with understanding and a little bit of compassion. Don’t try to fix it or make it go away, just hang with it for awhile and see what happens.

As you begin to understand your negative thought for what it is (just a thought), you begin to take the power away from it . . . giving the power back to you! I am woman hear me roar!!

Let me know how it goes!!!

xo,
amy

Oh . . . I almost forgot to tell you the BEST part! Once you become an expert at “The Work” I will teach you how to use the tool on your own and you can share it with your besties over a glass of wine (they will love you forever)!!

“Rest” is a “four letter” word that I don’t say often (barely ever).

For me, “rest” means to be . . . lazy. . . unproductive . . . useless . . . unworthy . . . incompetent . . . valueless and just plain
NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!

For me, I measure my self worth on my productivity (sound familiar)???

For me, I LOVE to cross items off my “to do” list and the more items I cross off, the more worthy and valuable and “good enough” I feel.

For me, the more PRODUCTIVE I am the better I feel about myself.

For me, “Rest” just gets in the way!!!

I don’t think this is TOTALLY fucked up. (Though some of you may beg to differ!)

I think it’s ok to feel good when you are productive . . . making those phone calls that have been on your list for weeks, catching up on your emails, crossing off 5 “to do’s” on your work list (I did this today and it felt delightful) or clearing the cupboard under the sink that has taunted you for months.

Being productive is a good thing . . . we all do it . . . we all talk about . . . we all feel happy about it (most of the time).

But what isn’t a good thing (in my humble opinion) is avoiding “rest” and disregarding it as being productive . . . as I have learned the hard way over the past several weeks.

I’ve been struggling with a virus for over a month that has hung on tight and really interrupted my life . . . forcing me to cancel dates with my girlfriends, struggling to keep up with my household responsibilities, rescheduling clients, barely having conversations with my family, canceling my spin classes over and over again and then crawling into bed each night feeling defeated, useless and unworthy . . . which DOES NOT look good on me!!

I’ve been forced to rest, to REALLY rest and it HAS helped me heal, I KNOW that . . . though I still “kicked and screamed” through the entire damn thing.

So I am working on it.

I am not there yet, quite honestly, not even close.

But I am working on accepting “rest” as something that is VERY productive, helping us to thrive as kick ass moms, partners, sisters, friends and human beings!!

And I have decided to put “rest” on my to do list – every single day!

Some days it may look like sipping my coffee on the front porch for 10 minutes instead of gulping it in the car on my way to do a million errands.

Other days it my look like me reading for an hour BEFORE I fold the laundry, empty the dishwasher, email my clients and take the dog for a walk.

I may take a power nap for 20 minutes in the afternoon, or shut down my laptop an hour earlier than I usually do . . . or I may just take 3 deep breaths before I dive into my “to do” list for the day and that’s enough “rest” for now.

Can we try this together? Let’s “pinky promise” that we will all put REST on our to do lists each day and make sure to cross it off!!!

If you need a nudge or accountability – reach out!! I am working hard at this, and I can help you do the same!

So let’s all rest a bit more each day so we can nourish ourselves, kick butt, spread the love and continue to save the world . . . “pinky promise!”

xo,
amy

As the snow begins to melt, the daylight stays around a bit longer, the sunshine peaks out once in awhile and we begin to shed the many layers that have helped us survive the LONG winter in Vermont . . . we get motivated to clear and organize our clothing and homes . . . calling in clarity and springtime sparkle!

I am having a fabulous time rolling up my sleeves and guiding my clients to clear their clothing closets and dressers this month! SO many clothes have been donated to worthy organizations and so much transformation is happening for my clients . . . with lots of joy sparking momentum and change!

I am always incredibly grateful and honored to be a part of this process with my clients and it definitely inspires me to tackle my own “dirty little secrets” in my home (and life)!

YES beautiful people . . . I have a few “dirty little secrets!!”

I have clutter in various parts of my home and hold onto things that no longer “spark joy” or “serve a purpose.” I’m human . . . and sometimes it’s hard to let go of things or when life gets busy, it’s easier just to stuff the clutter into a closet or a drawer or the basement or way down deep inside you . . . and ignore ignore ignore!!!

Well, it’s been hard to ignore my current clutter “sitch” because I can’t even close the damn linen closet door!

You see . . . I am addicted to “throw pillows” and my closet is so overstuffed with them that I can’t pretend anymore that I don’t have a problem!!

I have some shame and embarrassment around this, and watching my clients deal with similar emotions has helped me to FINALLY admit to and tackle this pillow addiction!

Here is how I did it . . . and it wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it would be!!!

Step One: I made sure I scheduled (in my calendar) an hour to deal with this shit show. It’s not a very big closet and clearing is a huge superpower for me, so I knew I didn’t need more time than that.

Step Two: Early morning spin class gave me lots of energy and put me in a good frame of mind. I was well nourished and hydrated which helped keep my mind clear and focused.

Step Three: I planned to donate the pillows I was letting go of, so I had garage bags nearby and the attitude that others will be SO happy to repurpose my discarded pillows!!

Step Four: I took EVERYTHING out of the closet including sheet sets, blankets, table cloths and the many many many pillows!

Step Five: I organized the items into categories to see how much I had and decided I didn’t need the 6 random pillow cases, the bed sheets that have never been comfortable and the table cloths that had years worth of stains on them. That was the easy part! I even had cute baskets that I used to organize the above items and they fit perfectly into the closet! Things like that make me so happy!

I already felt lighter, calmer and less ashamed!!

Step Six: Tackling the pillows . . . but more importantly . . . exploring WHY I had so many pillows!!!

This is what I realized . . . pillows are cheap and easy to buy when I need a “boost” (especially during the dark days of winter). It’s easy to transform and freshen up your living room or bedroom or basement with new throw pillows and a blanket and did I mention that you can find cheap pillows easily . . . so what is the harm??

The harm is that I don’t ever feel satisfied with my pillow arrangements . . . so I buy more hoping that THIS time will be different! I do this a few times a season, putting the other pillows away hoping they will someday inspire me . . . but they never really do. I feel guilty getting rid of them, because 25 pillows at $19.99 DOES ADD UP (I really hope my husband doesn’t do the math as he reads this)!!

So I “Marie Kondoed” this shit!!

Marie says when you come across items that don’t spark joy for you but you are still having a difficult time letting go of them . . . ask these 4 questions (I recommend saying them out loud . . . your dog won’t judge!):

“Why do I have the specific item in the first place.”

“When did I get it and what meaning did it have for me then?”

“What role does it play in my life now?”

“Has this item already served it’s purpose?”

And yes . . . you can be attached to something as impersonal as throw pillows . . . BEEN THERE/DONE THAT!!!

Don’t ever be ASHAMED at what you are attached to or what you are having a hard time letting go of. Humans feel comfortable and nourished when surrounded by their “stuff” and that’s ok!

What isn’t ok is if your “stuff” makes you feel anxious, heavy, ashamed or unhappy. If it does, then it’s time to get rid of that shit!!!

Focus on what you want to keep . . . those items that feel authentic to the life you want to live and how you want to feel! (And yes, items as insignificant as paperclips can bring you joy . . . I just found “rose gold” paperclips at Target that bring a smile to my face every time I use one!)

So now it’s your turn!! It’s the weekend . . . a perfect time to commit to clearing an area of your home for an hour or two!

IF you are stuck . . . and can’t seem to let go of those items that don’t spark joy and actually make you feel crappy . . . ask these four questions:

“Why do I have the specific item in the first place.”

“When did I get it and what meaning did it have for me then?”

“What role does it play in my life now?”

“Has this item already served it’s purpose?”

IF you STILL find yourself stuck and in need of support, compassion and permission . . . I’M your girl! Reach out to see what we can do together . . . I promise lots of joy sparking momentum and change! Clear with Amy

I am proud to say that I was able to let go of enough pillows to easily close the closet door and it feels AMAZING to see what I have decided to keep!

I will admit that I have new pillows from Target in the back seat of my car at this very moment . . . BUT it wasn’t an impulse buy and quite honestly, I am never going to stop buying decorative pillows. I am just going to start buying them for the right reasons, making sure they spark joy before I walk out of the store!

Why don’t you work on doing the same!! 🙂

xo,
amy

Ok my beautiful people . . . here’s the deal . . . CHANGE is happening over here!!!

I’ve been “clearing out” my coaching practice and experiencing ginormous internal shifts that are making me squirm uncomfortably but also jump for joy!

I’ve realized that I have been pushing away (for many years) what really gets me excited and dare I say turned on when it comes to my coaching practice.

I have been following the path of what I think “I should” be doing with my life coach training and certification AND my Physical Therapy degree . . . instead of REALLY listening to my gut. I have continued down this smooth road because that was the plan . . . and I have all the binders and notes and books and certifications and a Masters Degree to prove it!

Yet right now . . . my gut is full of butterflies giving my “plan” the finger (I know, butterflies don’t have fingers . . . but just go with it) and whispering to me, “Take the damn leap, shake it up a bit, put yourself out there, be true to your superpowers.”

So I am listening to those whispers, taking that leap . . . and officially stepping out as a Clearing Coach and Organizational Consultant.

I actually don’t even know if that is what I am going to call “myself” or “my work” or whatever . . . labels can be so damn confusing . . . but hopefully you’re picking up what I’m laying down!

I wanted to write this blog to you . . . my supportive and beautiful people AFTER I had organized all of my notes and thoughts about my clearing practice, scoured my “clearing mantras” to get just the right tagline to WOW you with, and reread all 25 of my books on clearing, organizing, creating clutter free spaces and sparking joy . . . because that is easier than putting myself out there with this new “ish” path I am walking down (actually . . . it feels more like I’m skipping)!!

Instead, I just decided to write to you with all of my notes scattered on my desk (gasp . . . I know, not very “organized” of me), my books stacked on the floor beside me, and my thoughts a bit unclear but my excited energy keeping my fingers typing away!

I just wanted to tell you that clearing clutter and organizing is my jam and I am really fucking good at it!

It doesn’t feel like work when I do it (with a client or in my own home), I could do it all day every day and the satisfaction of a clear space is addicting!

Also . . . I have a HUGE girl crush on Marie Kondo!

The thing is . . . I am NOT going to reinvent the “Clearing and Organizing Wheel.” There are SO many amazing experts that I love and have learned from (Marie Kondo, Peter Walsh, Stephanie Vogt, Katherine North, Gail Blanke, my mom)! So much information from different perspectives and philosophies . . .
but the goal is the same . . . to create clear and organized spaces around you so you can enjoy your beautiful life and be a kick ass human being!

What I AM going to do . . . is make these ideas and methods and processes available to YOU through my blogs and social media and clearing practice.

Most of us can’t afford to bring Marie Kondo over from Japan to help us clear our spaces for a week . . . but you can afford me! And just so you know . . . there is plenty of “traditional coaching” going on as I clear with my clients so it’s really a “two for one deal.” (And by the way . . . I can help you clear and organize remotely! Skype is an amazing tool)!

What I’m ALSO going to do . . . is make sure you realize that cleared spaces and an organized home and life (calendar-emails-filing system-schedule) DO NOT happen over night. You are NOT a bad person if you decide to keep more than 30 books (I don’t know how Marie Kondo does that)!! You have not “failed” if you can’t quite give up those “pre baby” pair of jeans that haven’t been worn in 3 years.

I get it . . . we all have our shit (literally and figuratively). BUT letting go of that shit, clearing spaces, living with less crap and chaos around you . . . WILL create clarity and calm and true joy . . . and isn’t that what we all want?!?

Side Note: Just because I am tweaking my coaching practice a bit DOES NOT mean that I haven’t loved every one of my coaching and personal training clients . . . and still do! I’m not going anywhere people! I ADORE my clients and will continue coaching and personal training as long as you need me! So DO NOT fret! I’m here for you girl!

This isn’t a completely new gig for me. Clearing coaching IS on my website and I have worked with several clearing clients (getting goose bumps as I admire all their beautifully cleared spaces and the internal transformation my clients go thorough). (PUT WEBSITE LINK HERE) And have I mentioned the rush I get when I drop off the car load of crap at the donation centers . . . PURE ECSTASY . . . I know, I’m weird!

I haven’t called myself a Clearing Coach and Organizational Consultant because I haven’t given myself permission to take a detour from my plan, because WTF . . . how do I do that??

But as my Goddess Card Aine says . . . “Take a risk, and put your heart’s true desire into action!” So here I am . . . giving myself permission to take a risk, listen to my gut and put my true heart’s desire into action!

Go ahead . . . now you give it a try (even a small risk or leap can be super powerful) and see how it feels!

SO MUCH MORE TO COME . . . but for now . . .

A Clearing Tip from yours truly – Clearing your Bedside Table . . .

Sleep is life and clearing the space around you where you sleep is powerful! Throw away the used tissues, place a decorative bin on the floor to put “away” your motrin bottle, your headphones, hand cream, etc. Clear out the books that you are NEVER going to read and take the 4 water glasses down to the kitchen sink! The only thing you should have on your bedside table is your clock (or phone) one water glass and a lamp! That is truly all you need . . . so get rid of the rest . . . and enjoy a good nights sleep!

Sweet Dreams!

xo,
amy