I’m back!! Did you miss me?? I sure as hell missed me!!
It’s been a shit show over here for the past few months.
Nothing major . . . from the outside . . . my life is looking JUST FINE!
I am healthy – my boys are healthy – I have a loving spouse who is pretty damn cute and thinks I am too – I live in a beautiful home with food on the table and running water – and I have friends and a sister who always seem to be there when I need them.
I still go to the market – do the laundry – keep the house fairly clean – pay bills – organize my endless lists – move my boys through their days with lots of love – volunteer – work with my clients . . .
BUT my life is running me.
I feel like I am constantly stomping out fires – just to watch another flare up . . . and another . . . and another!
The fires are always small (see above at how good my life is).
Sometimes just smoldering coals.
But they are constant and I never feel like I can “catch up” (stomping them all out and thinking . . . “I got this, job well done.”)
Just so you know . . .
I don’t expect to cross everything off my list or have an empty inbox.
I realize that there is always something to buy at the market (I live with 3 BIG boys).
I’ve come to terms with the never ending laundry pile and the dirty floors (hello mud season).
I have a list of things I want to learn (the piano is collecting dust), read (the book basket is full) and write about, and I am ok with that.
What I am not ok with . . . is this feeling of my life running me!
Feeling scattered and ungrounded and off balance ALL THE DAMN TIME!
So I started cleaning.
You may think I am just distracting myself from the REAL shit that “needs” to get done . . . but cleaning is my “meditation” . . . my way of being completely present with what I am doing right now.
I don’t talk.
I don’t think.
I just do.
My mind chatter quiets, my endorphins kick in (I know, I’m weird . . . but cleaning gives me that feel good glow) and sometimes I even break a sweat! It’s a win-win-win!
My point . . .
When you feel like life is running you . . . when you can’t seem to keep up with all those flare ups (positive and negative) . . . find your “meditation.”
It DOES NOT need to involve sitting in an uncomfortable position burning incense that makes you sneeze (unless that’s your thing . . . then go for it girl)!
It DOES NOT need to be hours of being still, trying to ignore all your mind chatter and feeling like shit because all you can think about is the pile of paperwork on your desk.
And it certainly DOES NOT need to involve a vacuum and trash bags (that’s just my thing)!
Find something that quiets YOU . . . reading a book – taking a walk – locking yourself in the bathroom – deep breaths while in the school pickup line (quiet cars can be a mom’s best friend) – yoga – a glass of wine on your front porch – a sweaty spin class (that is a favorite one of mine).
It doesn’t have to take up too much time . . . 10 minutes is enough . . . I promise.
I haven’t really figured out why I’ve felt like my life has been a “shit show” lately and that’s tough for me . . . because I’m a “figure outer.”
I have decided not to worry about it, and just let it go.
Life gets messy sometimes, and it’s ok not to know WHY!
So whether you are right in the middle of your mess or you are feeling grounded, “in flow” and on top of your shit . . . find the time to honor your quiet and stillness.
10 minutes of your “meditation” can be kick ass powerful and you DESERVE to feel powerful, my beautiful tribe (like you can conquer the world . . . or at least conquer that pile of dishes in your sink )!!