I like to be in control.
I thrive on routine and I am in love with my lists.
I am an expert at organizing all the emails, paperwork, schedules, phone calls, and “to do’s” that come into our home.
I am the queen of controlling chaos created by a busy family of four, and proud of it!
Some may call me a “control freak” . . . yup . . . I am letting that freak flag fly, and I’m ok with it.
Being in control makes me a better person.
I am balanced.
I am relaxed.
I am grounded.
I am happy.
I truly believe it’s ok to strive for “control” in your life.
It’s not a dirty word.
Feeling in control {whatever that looks like for you} works for many of us!
BUT
What doesn’t work . . . is when we FEAR being out of control.
Recently, “life” decided I needed my “control freakiness” toned down a bit, reminding me that no matter how many lists I have or how organized my calendar is . . . life still gets messy.
As in, a 13 year old son with an 8 inch gash in his thigh from a bike accident, requiring 41 stitches . . . now that’s messy!
Poof . . . my control vanishes!!
I had to let go . . . immediately.
I had to trust the ER to control his care.
I had to trust the PA to control his suturing.
I had to trust the antibiotics to control his infection.
I had to trust my son’s body to control his healing.
It wasn’t easy and I didn’t like how it felt . . .
unsettling
scary
ungrounded
tiring
blurry
So I ignored these feelings while I attempted to rewrite my lists, organize my piles, control my surroundings, and care for my son.
I just wanted to be back “in control” dammit!
It didn’t work.
Ignoring the emotions that were coming up just left me grumpy and unfocused.
Running from my fear, my fear of feeling out of control was NOT helping me reclaim my control . . . it was pushing it farther away!
So I invited blurry and scary in for a visit.
I allowed tiring, unsettling, and ungrounded to sit with me at my kitchen counter for a bit.
I embraced my fear of feeling out of control, and when it was time . . .
I slammed the door in her face.
I let myself feel these emotions through to the other side . . . and I survived!
We all did!
The stitches are out.
No infection in sight.
The wound is healed.
The football jersey is back on.
The lists aren’t organized
The piles are still out of control . . . and my family of four is thriving!
What emotions are you running from?
What are you trying to ignore?
How about inviting those emotions in for a visit.
Welcome them into your life . . . allow yourself to get to know them.
Let your emotions know that you are not afraid of them anymore.
Feel them through . . . and then move into your beautiful life, thriving.
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