It’s ok to cry yourself to sleep.
I did the other night.
It caught me by surprise.
I was joking around with my husband about getting a good nights sleep (before his 5 am wake up call to climb a mountain).
I told him I would sing “Kumbaya” to him (which is a song we sang to our boys every.single.night for years) . . . so I started singing.
I barely made it three words in until the tears came and then the sobs!
I couldn’t seem to stop them.
I didn’t want to keep my husband awake (of course he comforted me because he’s awesome that way) but I also couldn’t stop the damn tears from flowing.
Where did they come from??
I was just giggling 2 minutes ago and now I couldn’t control the sobs (and control is my middle name)!!
I eventually just gave in, letting the tears roll down my face until I fell asleep (probably snoring) and didn’t wake until morning.
I guess my body just needed to “cry it out” as we used to say to our boys.
So many reasons right now for tears and sobs . . . so damn many . . . yet how often do we attempt to “hold it together” “put on a brave face” “keep your chin up” “push through” and just try to fucking hold on for one more day.
It’s exhausting & unsettling & scary & disconcerting & EXHAUSTING!
So I want to give you permission my beautiful friends to fall – the – fuck – apart.
Be a mess . . . let those tears spill out, embrace your splotchy face and your runny nose.
Cry in the dark. Cry in the light. Cry in your car. Cry at the dinner table.
Be pissed off. Be frustrated. Be scared. Be loud. Be quiet.
And then do this . . .
Drink lots of water (like A LOT).
Get outside every single day.
Go to bed earlier and actually sleep for 7 to 8 hours.
Reach out to your friends & family for some lovin’.
Be gentle with yourself, no really . . . give yourself a break.
Put your damn phone down more often.
Eat a green veggie or two, daily (mine are broccoli and spinach).
Move your body in a way that feels true to you.
Clear off your kitchen counter of the shit that doesn’t belong there.
Treat yourself to fresh flowers and light a candle.
Then a glass of wine.
Then watch a good show (I’m binging on Season 9 of “Call the Midwife” which makes me soooo happy).
And remember to give yourself permission to be a mess, fall apart when you need to and just STOP with all the self judgement . . . it’s enough!
Oh and also . . . just so you know . . . you are always beautiful to me my friend . . . no matter how messy your life is or how splotchy your face becomes from crying . . . you are beautiful.