The weekender bag is packed.
The beach chairs are in the car.
The plants have been watered and the laundry is folded.
The brie and gin are chilling in the fridge.
The list for the boys is on the counter.
Everything is organized and ready for my birthday weekend away.
Andrew and I are heading down to one of our favorite beaches for the next two days, and I am excited . . . sort of.
It’s a lot of pressure to go away with your partner for the weekend, especially when it doesn’t happen very often!
Expectations creep in, attachments to the outcome show up and a SHIT ton of “shoulds” are messing with my mind!
“I expect us to laugh, love and have amazing conversations for the next 48 hours.”
“I know we will totally get along and he won’t get on my nerves at all!”
“I should be SO excited to get away with my cute husband.”
“I should be grateful that he wants to spend time with me.”
“I should look perfect and feel perfect.”
“I should feel sexy and loving and happy and satisfied and . . .”
Even though I KNOW all of the above is bullshit, I still need to do the work to manage my expectations, let go of my attachments and quiet my “shoulds”.
It won’t be a perfect weekend.
My husband pulled a muscle in his neck recently (he thought he was a ninja warrior) so he is sore, can’t turn his head, and is having a hard time getting comfortable in bed.
I am grumpy and not sure why. It could be my birthday coming up (even though I embrace my age, it still sometimes surprises me that I will be 47). It could be my role as a mom shifting (we have trained our boys so well for life, that they don’t need us that much), it could be the barometric pressure or the recent full moon. All I know is that I am grumpy and ornery right now.
It’s supposed to rain tomorrow . . . our beach day. Andrew is convincing me that it won’t because the weather is always different near the ocean, but I’m pretty sure my Weather Channel App is correct.
My point is . . . I already know we are heading into this weekend with pulled muscles, grumpiness and rain, and I’m ok with that.
I am working REALLY hard to let go of what I think the weekend should look like and how I should feel . . . and focusing on what I have to look forward to in the next 48 hours.
Good books to read.
Brie and olives to enjoy in the car ride down.
Having sex without worrying about our boys down the hall.
Walks on the beach (with or without an umbrella).
Gin and tonics.
East Coast Steamers (with lots of butter).
Remembering how I felt when Andrew asked me to marry him on that beach in 1997.
Manage your expectations.
Let go of your attachments.
Quiet your “shoulds”.