You Suck.
Yep . . . that’s what he said.
To me.
My loving, sweet, easy going 13 year old son.
He was mad at his brother.
He was mad at me.
He was hungry.
He didn’t shout it, just mumbled it as he walked away . . . I don’t think he even knows that I heard him.
But I did.
My eyes watered, my stomach flipped and it took ALL my willpower to keep my mouth shut.
“What did you just say?” could have been my response . . . that is any mom’s “normal” response. But I didn’t. I could have followed him up to his room for a lecture, decided on a logical consequence, raised my voice . . . but I didn’t.
I stayed still and decided . . .
It’s none of my business what my son says to me.
I know, that’s a strong statement . . . but stay with me.
He is 13, and we have raised him well.
He is a smart and confident young man who knows right from wrong.
He already makes most of his own decisions and his own choices.
He is respectful to his family, friends, peers, teachers, and coaches . . . words like “you suck” rarely come out of his mouth.
So I am ok with staying out of my son’s business.
If I am in his business about how he is feeling towards me at that moment
. . . where does that leave me?
hurt
angry
shocked
embarrassed
dejected
How can that make me a good mom?
How can I support him and send him the love he needs, if I am feeling hurt and dejected by his words?
How can me being in his business help him stop being angry and join us for dinner?
It doesn’t . . . it just makes it worse . . . trust me, I’ve been there!
It is none of my business how my son feels about me right now.
Period.
How do I know this?
Because of the way my body felt . . .
As soon as I got out of his business, and back into my own
My stomach settled.
I exhaled and felt my shoulders relax.
My jaw loosened
and
I happily sat down to dinner with my family.
Don’t get me wrong . . . It wasn’t easy, I still had the urge to follow him up to his room . . . but I didn’t, I stayed in my business {thanks to all my practicing}.
5 minutes later . . . he joined us at the dinner table . . . and at bedtime . . . he still wanted me to cuddle him to sleep . . . BAM!
Are you staying in your business right now?
Can you be a caring spouse, lover, friend, parent when you are in someone else’s business?
Let yourself feel what it’s like to be in someone else’s business.
Now feel what it’s like when you stay in your business.
The answer comes from the whispers of your body . . . listen to them.
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