It was really good to hear his voice on the other end of the phone.
After packing his car with a garbage bag full of clothes, a tent and sleeping bag, some cans of beans and a whole lotta Ramen . . . my son Sam had been road tripping for the past month.
And now, he was coming home to regroup and hopefully buy a van to “upgrade his road tripping status!”
So when he called to say he was only 20 minutes from home . . . I was a thrilled mama!!
“Oh, and I now have a cat . . .” he says.
“I found him at a rest stop in North Carolina, shivering, dirty and wet, hiding between two vending machines. He followed me to my car, and when I opened the door . . . he jumped in. I gave him my dinner (a can of tunafish) and then he fell asleep in my lap. What was I supposed to? He had no collar, and no one else was there, and he was soooo skinny and sad!”
So this is my life with Sam.
He is an “Animal Whisperer.”
So far his “pets” haven’t impacted my life too much!
There were the ladybugs – Mimi & Jackson, the various mice in the garage, many spiders in the house, his two gerbils – Jerry Garcia and Frank Zappa, our backyard chickens, his bunny – Charlie and of course our beloved yellow lab – Kate.
But a CAT!?!
You see my beautiful friends, I am SEVERLY allergic to cats . . . like I can’t breathe allergic – and I want to gouge my eyes out because they are so itchy, and my nose is constantly filled with snot, and I sneeze a bazillion times and I just feel damn miserable . . . which translates into – I really really really dislike cats!
So this was happening, and I only had 20 minutes to gather my thoughts and figure out how to proceed.
The minute I saw Sam with this cat . . . I knew he was already part of the family, and I was going to need to find some really really strong allergy meds!
Oh and yes, I am a SUCKER!!
Especially when it comes to my boys.
I have my boundaries and I DO say no – but – this cat was so damn cute and my son was already so in LOVE with Lenin (yup, that’s his name) – what could I do?
Why am I telling you this story my friends?
To remind you that sometimes life doesn’t go as planned (I know, I know . . . after the year we’ve survived we all KNOW this already)!!
BUT what I want you to HEAR – it’s ok (actually necessary) to create those healthy boundaries that feel right for YOU!
So what do my boundaries with “Lenin the Cat” look like?
He is not allowed in my bedroom or office (ok, sometimes he gets to go on a special field trip into my office)!
Sam vacuums and sprays allergy mist frequently to keep the dander and cat hair from invading our home.
Someone always has their eyeballs on Lenin, so my chairs don’t become scratching posts and my plants aren’t his personal litter box!
And these boundaries feel good for me!
I can say YES to “Lenin the Cat” while still maintaining some control over my wellbeing and my home!
BTW: It also helps that Allegra has been a MIRACLE antihistamine! I can actually cuddle with Lenin without almost going into anaphylactic shock!
Yes, I will admit . . . I am falling in love with this cat and I adore watching my son love and care for him (he is getting so good at “adulting”) and I’ve had many proud mama moments!
We can be open to change – let go of certainty – keep an open mind – say yes or no – and STILL maintain our healthy boundaries that keep us –
and living our truth!
Living our TRUTH . . .
What does that look like for you?
Taking a 20 minute break from your responsibilities to enjoy a walk in the sunshine.
Not answering texts or emails after 7pm.
Saying NO to another commitment that feels like a “should.”
Buying yourself tulips because you are worth it.
Ending a toxic relationship.
Reading a book in the middle of the day
Asking for help with dinner because you are exhausted.
Quitting a job that no longer serves you.
Going to bed early.
The list is endless my friends and I am giving you permission to create those healthy boundaries especially when plans change, uncertainty creeps in, worry and anxiety cloud that beautiful brain of yours . . . or a white cat shows up on your front porch in the arms of your son who is grinning from ear to ear . . . and they BOTH immediately melt your heart.
live your truth
create healthy boundaries
put yourself first
be gentle with yourself