Most of us truly believe that there is not enough time to take time for ourselves!

We feel overwhelmed with our never ending “to do” lists, our work demands, the laundry pile that never goes away, making dinner AGAIN, chauffeuring our kids around, loading the car/unloading the car, and what about all the holiday parties on your calendar . . . looking forward to them or dreading them?

Well, I’m calling bullshit.

I am tired of hearing myself say, “There is never enough time.” And as much as I love my beautiful tribe, I’m tired of hearing all of your excuses as to why you can’t find the time to take care of you!

This epidemic needs to STOP NOW!

Yup, I’ve written about this before . . . my Bliss Element #2 – Taking Time . . . and here it is again.

So quit making excuses, read what I have to say (it’s some good shit) and then DO something about it! (End of rant, for now!)

What does Taking Time look like . . .

Take time doing more of what you love! Creating time for YOU prevents you from living life by default (constantly reacting to what’s important to everyone else rather than what is important to you). Take the time to make yourself a priority and go for that run, have lunch with your bestie or take a frickin nap!

SCHEDULE your YOU time. Put it in your calendar, write it on your to do list, post it on Facebook and ask your “friends” to keep you accountable, put a sticky note on your steering wheel, hire me as your coach! Whatever it takes to make sure you take time for yourself, to nourish YOU and kick butt as a human being.

Be ok with just taking things off your “to do” list (I know, that’s scary for me too) AND asking for help! My boys vacuum each weekend, their efforts are in the B- range, but I’ve learned to be ok with that, because it means I can do something for ME instead of vacuuming the whole damn house!

Taking Time also means . . .

Taking Time to say NO:

Remember . . . when you say “yes” to something, it means you are saying “no” to something else and if I know my tribe as well as I think I do . . . that “something else” is YOU and YOUR time.

When you say “no” to something that doesn’t give you joy or bring value to your life, you are saying YES to nourishing yourself and taking care of you! HELL YES!!!

The word “no” is such a small and simple word, yet it can be very difficult to choke out at times, and that’s ok . . . you just need to practice, so start NOW.

Taking Time to SHOW UP AND BE REAL:

Stop pretending everything is “fine.” Quit trying to look like you’ve got your shit together. We are all struggling, we are all in the middle of our messy lives doing the best that we can . . . and that’s ok!

I promise you that you will feel SO MUCH BETTER when you decide to just be real.

embrace your true self

listen to what your body is telling you

accept that life gets messy

live your core desires and values

stay in your own business

nurture honest and true relationships

“Getting real means you embrace your true self, choosing courage and connection with others over what anyone else thinks.”
– Brene Brown

Taking Time to BE GRATEFUL:

Find something to be grateful for EVERY SINGLE DAY. That’s it . . . it’s that simple.

Whisper it as you climb into bed, say it out loud while driving in your car, write it in a journal (for me, this is the most powerful), type it into your phone or put it out on social media. It doesn’t matter how you do it . . . just do it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

It doesn’t have to be creative or articulate or even that positive (I am grateful that I wasn’t irked by my husband last night). It is the act of finding something that you are grateful for that rewires your brain and encourages more gratitude and ultimately, BLISS! So give it a try . . . I did:

“I am grateful for my high waisted jeans, they suck me right in!”

“I am grateful for 7:15 am spin classes, sometimes 6 am is just too damn early!!

“I am grateful for my opinionated kids, even though they can be a pain in the ass!”

Taking Time to SLEEP WELL:

This is a “no brainer” . . . The Mayo Clinic states “Getting at least seven hours of quality rest each night is essential for optimal health. Sleep deprivation can have a significant impact on your mind, body, mood and temperament. Plus, lack of sleep influences what and how much you eat. Lack of sleep also decreases your mental focus and acuity.”

So basically . . . when you don’t take time to SLEEP, your entire “being” is fucked up! (Sorry for the bluntness, but this is important)!

GET SOME SLEEP my beautiful tribe.

I’ve covered a lot in this blog . . . thanks for sticking with me. Here are your action steps:

Take Time: Schedule YOURSELF in your calendar at least two times this week.

Saying NO: Set a goal for yourself – committing to say “no” twice a day for the next week or once a day for a month, whatever feels good but slightly uncomfortable.

Show up and be real: Be brave enough to share something that isn’t “fine” about your life. Call a friend, post it on social media, be willing to show up and be vulnerable.

Be Grateful: Give gratitude a chance for the next 7 days and see what happens!

Sleep Well: Let’s be in this together and commit to 7 hours of sleep for the next 7 days, no excuses!

I am here to tell you that you DESERVE to take time for yourself! I am giving you permission to take as much time as you need to nourish your gorgeous self because this world needs as many beautiful and healthy human beings as possible . . . and you are one of them!

xo,
amy

The entire wall was covered by a mirror, and as I walked in for my TRX class, I immediately assessed myself from head to toe.

It was only 7:15 am and I was already annoyed with the wrinkles between my eyebrows, my love handles and my big thighs! WTF!

I had dragged my ass out of bed, drove 30 minutes and SHOWED UP to take a strength training class that pushes me so hard that I feel like I’m going to barf afterwards . . . and I was STILL beating myself up over my love handles.

Then I got annoyed that I was annoyed! It’s a vicious cycle that I struggle with almost daily. Sigh.

Loving myself . . . as I am . . in this moment, is something I work on every.single.day.

Thank God the class began and my focus shifted from my love handles and big thighs to not throwing up in the middle my plank pikes. The mean girl chatter disappeared while I sweated through 45 minutes of squats, kettle bell swings and TRX rows . . . and it was delightful!

I believe that loving yourself is the most powerful thing you can do to kick butt as a human being!

That is why it’s my # 1 Bliss Element!

So while I was still on my endorphin high and the barfy feeling had faded, I made sure to list a few things that I DO love about myself.
Here is what I came up with:

I love my hair, especially when I take the time to curl it!
I love how my shoulders look in my favorite peekaboo shirt.
I love that my sister, my brother and I ALL have the furrow lines between our eyebrows – We Are Family!
I love looking down at my strong legs while in spin class.
I love that I kept up with the 20 year olds in my TRX class this morning.

Loving yourself can look like . . .

Allowing yourself to be ok with where you are right now.
Letting go of the self judgement and “mean girl” mind chatter.
Thanking your beautiful body for getting you through the day (big thighs and all).
Learning how to create your own joy.
Being ok with messiness and imperfections.
Honoring your daily rituals that keep your eyes shining brightly and your feet grounded.

SIDE NOTE: Honoring your daily rituals that keep you healthy and sane are ESPECIALLY important during the holidays (ready or not, they’re here)!! Love yourself enough to exercise despite your busy schedule. Eat well even with all the temptations. SLEEP!!! Stay true to who you are as you surround yourself with your crazy family!

This is my plan for showing myself love for the next few weeks . . .

Taking as many spin classes as possible.
Wearing my high waisted jeans that make my love handles disappear!
Taking the time to curl my hair and maybe even wear some lipstick.
Writing in my gratitude journal every day for the next week.
Drinking lots of water and attempting to get eight hours of sleep.
Believing that I am doing the best that I can in this moment.

What are you going to do to love yourself this week??

Tell me all about it!

AND thank you for taking the time to read my musings . . . so much gratitude for my beautiful tribe.

xo,
amy

Ready or not . . . here they come. The Holidays.

The Gap is blasting their holiday soundtrack.

The stores are bursting with festive wrapping paper, gift ideas that no one needs and more glitter than you would ever want in your home.

And the holiday tree just went up in my small city of Burlington . . . (I watched it being delivered on a huge flatbed truck which was pretty cool, and I have to admit, despite my slight annoyance with the holidays . . . the smell of pine stirred something “holidayish” inside of me).

We all want to enjoy the holidays right? We begin the season with lots of hope and excitement, determined not to get stressed out so we can really savor this time with our family and friends. “Things will be different this year!” you say to yourself! “I am not going to over commit, over spend, over eat, over drink, over stress!”

If you are like me, you put WAY TOO much pressure on yourself and your families to have the perfect gifts, the perfect meal, the perfect decorations, the perfectly behaved children, the perfect memories dammit!!

It’s exhausting and stressful.

Do you even enjoy the holidays anymore? Ask yourself that question right now, and be honest. {No judgement from me or yourself} It’s ok if you said “NO” . . . I get that . . . AND I can help you say “yes” again!

Remember when I wrote about my 5 Bliss Elements a few months ago? Well . . . here they are again, they’re worth a revisit . . . trust me!

I truly believe we all need these 5 Bliss Elements  in our lives to nourish ourselves and live as kick ass moms, partners, friends, and human beings . . . and yes, thrive during the holidays too!

 love yourself – take time – eat well – move now – clear out

These 5 Bliss Elements will look different for each of us, and I know that life gets busy and messy . . . so maybe not all 5 elements will show up in “imperfect harmony” all of the time . . . and that’s OK!

But what I DO know is that when we take care of ourselves, when we attempt to put ourselves at the top of our “to do” list . . . we ROCK our lives!

I know this because I am living it (some days better than others) and that’s ok!

When we nourish ourselves through these 5 Bliss Elements . . . We are stronger, brighter, truer, braver.

Our days feel more in flow and the bumps and messes of our life don’t throw us off balance as much.

We are blissed out!

More to come on each Bliss Element . . . so stay tuned! It will be worth the read, and my gift to you (a gift that everyone can use)!

This week, ask yourself, “Where am I on my to do list? Am I nourishing myself enough? At all?” (I have asked this question before, but it never goes out of style!)

Go ahead, make yourself a priority AT LEAST once this week. Take a nap instead of folding the laundry (the kiddos will survive without their favorite t shirt). Order take out for dinner or let your kids “make” their own dinner (tortilla chips and left over halloween candy won’t kill them). STEP AWAY from your “to do” list and call a friend for a walk (she will be grateful you did).

Nourish your Beautiful Self and LIVE as a Kick Ass Human Being . . . any questions?

xo, 
amy

The weekender bag is packed.
The beach chairs are in the car.
The plants have been watered and the laundry is folded.
The brie and gin are chilling in the fridge.
The list for the boys is on the counter.

Everything is organized and ready for my birthday weekend away.

Andrew and I are heading down to one of our favorite beaches for the next two days, and I am excited . . . sort of.

It’s a lot of pressure to go away with your partner for the weekend, especially when it doesn’t happen very often!

Expectations creep in, attachments to the outcome show up and a SHIT ton of “shoulds” are messing with my mind!

“I expect us to laugh, love and have amazing conversations for the next 48 hours.”
“I know we will totally get along and he won’t get on my nerves at all!”
“I should be SO excited to get away with my cute husband.”
“I should be grateful that he wants to spend time with me.”
“I should look perfect and feel perfect.”
“I should feel sexy and loving and happy and satisfied and . . .”

Even though I KNOW all of the above is bullshit, I still need to do the work to manage my expectations, let go of my attachments and quiet my “shoulds”.

It won’t be a perfect weekend.

My husband pulled a muscle in his neck recently (he thought he was a ninja warrior) so he is sore, can’t turn his head, and is having a hard time getting comfortable in bed.

I am grumpy and not sure why. It could be my birthday coming up (even though I embrace my age, it still sometimes surprises me that I will be 47). It could be my role as a mom shifting (we have trained our boys so well for life, that they don’t need us that much), it could be the barometric pressure or the recent full moon. All I know is that I am grumpy and ornery right now.

It’s supposed to rain tomorrow . . . our beach day. Andrew is convincing me that it won’t because the weather is always different near the ocean, but I’m pretty sure my Weather Channel App is correct.

My point is . . . I already know we are heading into this weekend with pulled muscles, grumpiness and rain, and I’m ok with that.

I am working REALLY hard to let go of what I think the weekend should look like and how I should feel . . . and focusing on what I have to look forward to in the next 48 hours.

Good books to read.
Brie and olives to enjoy in the car ride down.
Having sex without worrying about our boys down the hall.
Walks on the beach (with or without an umbrella).
Gin and tonics.
East Coast Steamers (with lots of butter).
Remembering how I felt when Andrew asked me to marry him on that beach in 1997.

Manage your expectations.
Let go of your attachments.
Quiet your “shoulds”.

xo,
amy

Monday morning, 5:10 am . . . with my eyes barely open and my mind still in dreamland, I stepped onto our bathroom scale. My first thought was that I didn’t see the number clearly because of my early wake up call.

So I hastily got off, thinking FOR SURE the number would be lower the second time I stepped on.

It wasn’t.

What the hell? I couldn’t believe it! I exercise VERY regularly, I eat well and I FEEL good. Yet it was the highest number I had seen on that scale in a LONG time . . . and I felt completely defeated before the sun had even come up.

I hate scales, I am totally against BMI charts and I preach to my tribe often about how you are “much more than a number” . . . yet I STILL get sucked into that evil underworld of what I “should” look like and how much I “should” weigh.

Numbers on scales, size of jeans, BMI calculations, flat abs, thigh gaps, muffin tops . . . blah blah blah.

I compare myself to some other “body” daily . . . in spin class or Pure Barre, in the pages of a magazine, when admiring my friend’s new leggings, on the beach, while scrolling through Facebook.

Most days I catch myself doing the “compare and despair” thing, and can avoid the evil underworld of flat abs and thigh gaps corrupting me too much.

But sometimes, I am surrounded by too many size 4’s and flat abs and just too damn tired to avoid the powerful pull of that evil underworld.

It drags me down, convinces me that I am not good enough and then spits me out{right after I have eaten an entire bag of potato chips} . . . exhausted and defeated.

My hunch is that this happens to you too.

What do you “compare and despair” about?

What pulls you down to your evil underworld?

It sucks right?

Well my beautiful tribe, I am here to tell you that it CAN suck less with a little bit of gratitude.

I know this, because I am doing it.

Despite my skepticism {this whole “being grateful thing” just seems too simple to be that effective} . . . I decided to give it a try, and it actually works.

Creating a “gratitude practice” is powerful stuff! {That’s why it’s one of my Bliss Elements to help you kick butt as a human being}

Being grateful CAN rescue you from your evil underworld most of the time.

Being grateful CAN help you “compare and despair” less.

Being grateful CAN prevent you from eating that bag of potato chips, or being annoyed with your husband, or buying that pair of shoes that you can’t afford or yelling at your kiddos for no apparent reason.

Wouldn’t that FEEL good!

Just begin.

Start small.

Be kind to yourself.

Whisper it in the shower, say it out loud while driving in your car, write it in a journal or on a scrap of paper. Whatever feels good for you.

Creating a “gratitude practice” is simple . . . but simple doesn’t mean easy, and that’s ok.

Give gratitude a chance for the next 7 days and see what happens.

Patience. Consistency. Love

“I am grateful for _______”

And BTW: despite the disastrous 5:10 am bathroom scale incident . . . I still managed to get my butt to my 6 am spin class, be grateful for my strong body AND sing along with Beyonce. It was going to be a good Monday!

xo,
amy